Mindless Drivel

i was going through some old things on my computer, cleaning out folders and such when i ran across this old letter that i had saved.  it was written by amalia (of the delage clan), and ive been holding on to it so that i could share it with as many people as possible at just the right time.  this is just that time.  enjoy.

Dear Community Bank,

First of all, I’d like to suggest a name change.  "Community" Bank implies helpfulness, caring, accommodation and flexibility.  It just doesn’t suit you!  No.  Instead I’d like to suggest Concrete Bank.  Your new motto could be "We’re stone cold and we won’t bend for anyone."  I like it.  It really fits. Write a memo and fax it to your superior.  Now on to the meat of this thing.

I believe your bureaucratic manual, (by which you all run your lives and apparently ruin everyone else’s) dictates, among other things, that in order to close my account with your bank, I need to write you a letter.  CLOSE MY ACCOUNT.  Send me my 18 cents.  And you can bet I’m going to enjoy writing this letter.

I understand that your little banking rules dictate strict adherence, and that obedient little minions that you are, you were only "doing your job."  The problem with that is I know you could’ve done your job better, found a solution.  Instead you waste my time by giving me the "run-around," not giving me valid information, or the full story, contradicting each other, and generally doing what bureaucracy is so good at.

You could have gone to your superiors and gotten authorization to get me a bank card.  I have had an account with you for 5 years.  Over that time I have loaned you roughly $50,000 to invest, play with as you see fit.  Let’s face it folks, you’re not doing me any favors here, nor have you ever.  I am incensed by your "I’m just on the clock and collecting a paycheck" attitude.  I am repulsed that this is so thinly veiled by your patronizing "we’re in the driver’s seat" polite smugness.  You can’t do anything for me?  It’s your damned job to accommodate me.  I am (or was) the customer, and I have loaned you my money.  Accommodate me!  If I were going to rip you off, I would’ve found a way to do it a long time ago.

I understand they don’t teach pettiness, anger and frustration in the manual, and you all can smugly sit behind your glossy counter and pretend you are superior to me, but rest assured, I pray this comes back to bite you in your collective butts.  These things are merely reactions to that little rule book (by which you wholeheartedly live your lives) which leaves no room for kindness, caring, consideration or reasonable behavior. "Community Bank," indeed!  You should be ashamed.

I hope all your lives are tripped up, your time is wasted, you have to stand in long lines with no results.  I hope you all get fines, get tickets, lose mortgages, bounce checks.  I hope important mail gets lost, comes late, goes to the wrong address.  I hope you always stay just one paycheck away from being on the street, that this causes stress, tears your families apart, keeps you up nights, gives you anxiety.  Furthermore, I hope your solution to this problem is to medicate yourselves heavily, vote Republican, watch a lot of bad T.V., and try not to think about it, insuring that it keeps happening.

I  hope that when you hear of someone killing themselves that you blame their childhood, parents or a chemical imbalance.  Furthermore, I hope that you are filled with that dreaded uncomfortable feeling that it was really none of those things and that it was a whole lot more.  And I hope that feeling haunts you for a long time.

I hope all the collective stress of your collective days leaves you so empty, exhausted and frustrated that you go home and snap at  your spouses and your children, ensuring that you don’t build deep, loving bonds with them.  I hope you keep believing in the "institution" of marriage and keep failing.  And keep trying.  And keep failing.  Furthermore, I hope you all consider yourselves Christians because the irony of that really makes me laugh.  I hope you really believe you are doing better for the world and are stumped by the reality that in spite of what you do, it’s not getting better.  I hope today is just like yesterday and that tomorrow is exactly the same. 

May your lives always be dull and may your brains turn to mush.  I hope you have no real joy.

Sincerely (you better believe it), 
Amalia

now, ive been bitter and angry before, but ive never written anything quite as scathing as this. 

oh, and, yes, she did mail it to her (former) bank.

-b

so, the other night at work while i was in the lunchroom, a couple old timers started talking about the news report on exonmobile’s record profits for last quarter.  on and on they bitched about how much money they were making at the expense of the working people, while we were paying more and more for gas.  they had their facts straight and were clearly informed on the subject.

these are the same guys who are staunchly conservative republicans who swear by 43, and curse anyone who has something to say against him.  i just dont get it.  how do we educate stubborn, ignorant people?  if they dont get it now, are they ever going to?  i tend to think not…you cant teach an old dog new tricks.  the only thing we can do is wait till they start to die off…

-b

another pretty good weekend.  friday rob and i went into the backcountry and did some "avalanche awareness" practice, which basically entailed practicing with our avalanche beacons and digging a couple of snow pits to check out the snow conditions.  oh, and while we were up there we made a few turns too.  the valley we went back into is called mayflower gulch, which is one of the same places that we went to last year.  hopefully we will go again this season, cause the views there are fucking incredible.

thought id finally live up to my promises and post a couple pictures (top and bottom) of my new board and bindings.  the pics are pretty darn lame, but i figured if i just waited and waited, theyd never get posted.  The top is really cool with the yellow highlights on the edges and the half moon which reminds me of "the dark side of the moon" cover, but the bottom really sucks - bright yellow, with some absolutely horrible graphics.  At least i dont have to look at that side very often.

took my old board to mayflower, but when we were at vail on saturday i was using the new board, and boy am i ever loving it.  its a little bit stiffer than my old fluid, so i can hit bumps and chop and not notice it nearly as much.  basically, im able to go faster without worrying as much.  on the groomers and in medium to shallow powder ive noticed the biggest difference.  when we go down the bumps its actually a little tougher, even though the board is smaller, because with these new bindings its tough to kick the board around as fast.  im not complaining because their responsiveness when carving is incredible.

snow is expected in the mountains tonight, tomorrow, and thursday night.  friday is looking good…

a quick shameless plug for some of my writings…ive got a couple of brief things on babblog this week.  check them out.  oh, and read brenda’s article while youre there.

and if you care at all, i finally finished my list (in the sidebar) of music that we listened to on our trip to la-la land and back.

-b